'I have no wish to be in her good books anymore': Employee turns down former boss's repeated requests for help

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jul 18, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

This boss can't let her old employee go. It's time for both of them to move on. 

U/YlvaNietzsche asked the r/AmItheA**hole community a question they had regarding their boss. For some reason, even though this employee departed the company, their boss is so insistent that they keep on helping. 

Each industry is different in regards to prior jobs. In some industries, it's incredibly important to keep a strong network of colleagues and bosses who can vouch for you as you advance in your career. For others, though, you might need your former boss to recommend you, but you might not talk to them besides that. It definitely doesn't hurt to have a former manager on your side to tell future employers about your workplace skills and the things you excel at. Regardless, this person doesn't want to help their boss, and to use their words, "I have no wish to be in her good books anymore."

In the comments, people assured the OP that they weren't in the wrong. Check out the entire story for yourself below. After that, these hair stylists, barbers, and customers shared the worst haircuts they've ever experienced, from fried hair to bowl cuts and more. 

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  • 01
    Hand
    via Keenan Beasley on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - AITA for refusing to help my former boss? Not the A-hole Given the nature of my work, I have to work in different teams. Currently, I am in a wonderful one where everybody is decent and cooperative. This was not the case with my last team. The former team members were non- cooperative and one of them behaved with us female employees in a derogatory manner. I do believe that my former boss is a good person but she was indifferent to what was happening as long as she had what she wanted. Th
    via u/YlvaNietzsche
  • 03
    Font - quickly, so much that my boss believed my colleagues when they painted a picture me being incompetent to her and discontinued my contract. I was extremely lucky because right after I was terminated, my current team took me in. Truth be told, I was depressed over this whole thing for a long time but with support from my family, friends and having much better team members, I have finally put the past behind. However, the past somehow has a way of coming back.
    via u/YlvaNietzsche
  • 04
    Font - Few weeks ago, my former boss approached my if I could help her with a report. Foremostly, I no longer feel the need to respect her wishes or help her and secondly, this is huge report that will take away a significant portion of my time. This means I will have to work after hours for nothing but to maintain goodwill. Honestly, I have no wish to be in her good books anymore and so tactfully avoided it. Then she began to invite me to meetings along with others which is related to this repo
    via u/YlvaNietzsche
  • 05
    Font - approached my supervisor asking if she could have my assistance. This time I politely but clearly said 'no'. Of course, nobody said anything to me at the office but my parents said that I should have helped my former boss. They didn't exactly call me an AH but in their eyes, it was stupid of me to be so brazen and ruin any possible scope of working or collaboration with my former boss. So guys, am I AH here? Am I the idiot?
    via u/YlvaNietzsche
  • 06
    Font - Far-Cup9063 A Aficionado [13] NTA. If your supervisor asks you why, explain what happened, in a calm manner. Your ex- boss may still think you are incompetent because she terminated your contract previously. Perhaps the ex-boss now needs to explain why she wants you for this project when she terminated your prior contract.
    via u/YlvaNietzsche
  • 07
    Font - I could be paranoid, but I almost smell a setup here. I worked with a vicious manipulative partner for years, who would do things like this. I apologize if I'm taking this too far, and if so, just ignore this comment.
    via u/YlvaNietzsche
  • 08
    Font - #%!& Vallis Gratia As Enthusiast [8] It absolutely smells like a steaming pile of "let's get a scapegoat" NTA obv, stand your ground
    via u/VallisGratia
  • 09
    Font - PeggyHW Supreme Court Just-a .... NTA. But you need to loop in your current boss now and agree to direct any requests for your time from external teams to them. Trying to handle it yourself could backfire badly. Your current boss needs to have your back here. 109 Reply Share YlvaNietzsche OP. Thank you very very much! This is excellent advice and I am grateful.
    via u/PeggyHW
  • 10
    Font - Wintery1 A: Enthusiast [5] Definitely NTA. You owe your former boss nothing and if you were so bad you were terminated why is she even asking? Might be no harm to make sure your supervisor understands why you do not want to get involved.
    via u/Wintery1
  • 11
    Font - lil-peanutbutter. Colo-rectal Surgeon [4... Yes. The ex boss terminated op, asking for help now is super weird. She has a whole other team to do her grunt work. Making their new boss aware as to what happened is also something they should do. Hopefully the new boss protects them from the a e ex boss. ΝΤΑ
    via u/lil-peanutbutter
  • 12
    Font - Ces beth_hazel_thyme. Certified Proctologist [23] ΝΤΑ I do believe that my former boss is a good person but she was indifferent to what was happening as long as she had what she wanted. This sounds like the opposite of a good person.
    via u/beth_hazel_thyme
  • 13
    Font - MO aboutsider Parta: ipant [4] That's exactly what I was thinking! Choosing to not intervene because doing so might hurt productivity sounds like a real as thing to do.
    via u/aboutsider
  • 14
    Font - YlvaNietzsche OP. My former boss could clearly hear the colleague who berated us female colleagues at times and never intervened. Now that I think about it, she was well- behaved and nice but her indifference says so much more. Thank you for letting me see the truth clearly.
    via u/YlvaNietzsche
  • 15
    Font - Actual Storage_9709. Parta_pant [2] NTA, but be careful, she could be a nightmare, after all, she went to your manager to formally get you on- loan. She might have influence in other departments and ruin your reputation. Be tactful.
    via u/Actual Storage_9709
  • 16
    Font - YlvaNietzsche OP. Thank you. I cannot help but agree at this point. My former boss could clearly hear the colleague who berated us female colleagues at times and never intervened. Now that I think about it, she was well-behaved and nice but her indifference says so much more.
    via u/YlvaNietzsche
  • 17
    Font - asecretnarwhal . Parta ipant [2] Be tactful but keep her at arms length at all costs. No good comes from working with her again. And be fantastic at what you do so if she tries to undermine you, it seems absurd. If asked, emphasize that there was a personality conflict.
    via u/asecretnarwhal
  • 18
    Font - Sea_Supermarket_9728 A: Aficionado [10] NTA - this is somebody who ignored abuse in the workplace and believed you where incapable of doing your job. Focus on the new team and go the extra mile with them. 10 Reply Share YlvaNietzsche OP. Thank you so much for your kind reply.
    via u/Sea_Supermarket_9728

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